10 Ways for Seniors to Keep Cool

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It is hot this summer. Heat Stroke and Dehydration are serious problems for everyone during this hot season, but Seniors are especially at risk. Here are some tips on how to help them stay cool.

  1. Seniors should eat light meals with water saturated foods in the summer. Over 20% of body fluid comes from food, so serve foods like Watermelon, Tomatoes, Cucumbers, Berries, and Soups.
  2. Seniors should drink lots of fluids to avoid dehydrate and heat stroke this summer. Water is best but fruit juices and iced teas are also good.
  3. Caffeine and alcohol are diuretics, this means that they promote water loss in the body. If a Senior drinks a caffeinated or alcoholic drink in the summer they should also drink some other fluids as well to offset the loss.
  4. Perspiration is one of the best ways for the body to cool off. Forget deodorant and towels, let sweat air dry as nature intended and it will carry body heat away with it.
  5. Letting the body air dry after a shower or swim will carry off body heat in the same way as perspiration. Misting the arms lightly in water and letting them air dry will also do the same.
  6. Did you ever wonder why they like it spicy down in New Orleans? Hot spicy foods promote sweating which is, as listed above, one of the best ways to cool off.
  7. Seniors should dress for the heat by wearing light-colored loose-fitting clothing. This will protect from the sun while allowing sweat to air dry. Include a light wide-brimmed hat for added shade.
  8. Even in an air conditioned house fans circulate air and help to keep the room feeling cooler. Consider putting a bucket of ice cubes in front of box fan for an added kick of coolness.
  9. It’s easy to forget how many heat sources fill out modern lives. To keep cool, turn off the computer, monitor, lights, and use the microwave instead of the oven. If possible, switch incandescent light bulbs out for cooler and more energy efficient compact florescent bulbs.
  10. Mint tricks our nerves into feeling cooler. Help a Senior to feel less overheated with a nice mint skin lotion massage or a cool glass of mint ice tea.

Warning: It is possible for individuals with serious heart, liver, or kidney problems to over-hydrate. If an elderly loved one has serious health problems ask their Doctor how much fluid they should drink each day.

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Fraud Alert! Take a closer look at those Phone Bills!

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Take a closer look at those phone bills friends! A few months ago we noticed that a mysterious charge for ‘Vmail’ had appeared on the phone bill for one of fax lines. Our phone company had just switched us from paper to email billing so we almost missed the $14.95 charge hidden near the bottom of the bill. Fortunately we run a tight ship so the charge didn’t slip past us and we looked into the charge. What we found was disturbing; a nationwide cramming scam, phone companies hindering customer’s attempts to remove the charge, and a flawed telecommunications law making the whole mess possible.

‘Cramming’ is a scam where a company adds a charge to a phone bill for a service that was not requested, agreed to, or used. In our case, the charge was for a voice mail service on one of our fax lines –a service we never asked for, never agreed to, and which we could never use because it doesn’t actually exist. That’s right, even if we had wanted to use ‘Vmail’ we couldn’t because it doesn’t exist.

It took over five hours just to sort out things out with our phone company. We had a long run around through the automated system and from ‘wrong’ department to ‘wrong’ department. When we did speak to real people we got another kind of run around; they insisted that we had signed up for the service and when we insisted on having the charge removed we were transferred. Finally, we demanded to speak to a manager and got the answers we needed in less than ten minutes.

What we learned is that, legally, because of the 1996 Telecommunications Act, phone companies have to include charges from other companies in their bills unless the customer contacts them requesting a block of all third party billing. There is no selective screening, the 1996 law prevents phone companies from ‘discriminating’ against any companies which place charges. Our phone company could have saved us a lot of time and frustration by giving us this information from the start, it was terrible customer service on their part and completely unacceptable. But, otherwise, their hands are legally tied when it comes to this kind of scam. They are required by law to accept third party charges and have no legal means of verifying that their customer requested the services in question. Aside from the quality of their customer service, there is no difference between Qwest, Verizon, AT&T, Embarq, or any other national phone company when it comes to this scam.

How to prevent Cramming.

  • Call the phone company in question and demand that they block all third party billing on the account.  Sometimes phone company representatives try to talk customers out of the block but insist even if they say its not possible.
  • Carefully check every phone bill – act immediately if a new or unknown charge appears.

How to resolve Cramming.

  • Contact your phone company immediately and tell them that you did not authorize the charges and ask for the charges to be removed. Your phone company does have the authority to remove the charges but will often require* you to try to resolve the issue with the company that placed the charge.
  • Call the company that placed the charge and inform them that you did not request the services. Tell them that you would like to know who authorized the services and ask for a copy of the authorization information. Companies have been known to request more personal information, such as social security numbers, do not give them more personal information than they already have.
  • Ask that all charges be removed. If the company refuses or never responds, get back in  touch with the phone company. Tell them that you could not resolve the charges with the company in question and tell them that you did not authorize the disputed charges. Ask the phone company to remove all charges. Be insistent, even if they say they can’t – they can. Talk to more than one person if you need to.

Things to remember!

  • Customers are not legally obligated to pay charges on their telephone bills for services that they have not ordered or authorized others to order for them.
  • Telephone services cannot be disconnected because a customer refuses to pay a charge from a third party. Threats of phone lines being disconnected are legally empty.
  • Crammers sometimes hire legitimate collection agencies to collect the charges ‘owed’ to them. This can be very damaging to credit ratings and should be addressed immediately. Explain the situation to the collection agency and, if that resolves nothing, either pay the ‘charges’ or get legal aid.

We submitted complaints to the Federal Trade Commission, Federal Communications Commission, the Pennsylvania Attorney General (check the map on this page to find your state’s), and the Better Business Bureau. Little can be done to stop this kind of scam on a national level but several states, including New York and Florida, are taking action to prevent cramming. Get your State to join them in taking steps to outlaw cramming; send letters to your elected officials letting them know that you’re sick of this scam!

Read more information on Cramming from the Federal Trade Commission.

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Mourning Edith

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Back in May we promoted the Keep the Spirit of 45′ Alive campaign by sharing the story of Edith Shain and encouraging all of you to listen to the stories of the greatest generation while the opportunity is still with us. It was with deep regret that we learned from Paula Camposano-Robinson, a nurse herself, that Edith passed away on Sunday.

Made an icon by the famous Times Square photograph on V-J Day, Edith kept her identity a secret until the 1970s when she finally acknowledged that she was the nurse.  In her later years she was an active advocate for veterans and projects helping to ensure that World War 2 would not fade from memory.

We mourn her passing and hope that you don’t take the greatest generation for granted; we are losing them one by one.

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10 Things to do on Father’s Day

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With strength fading and independence slipping away, many elderly Fathers feel lost and out of place. Father’s Day offers us a great chance to celebrate and honor them but many of us have trouble with the how… There is no one answer as every father is unique but here are a few suggestions.

  1. Take Him out to the Ball Game – Father’s Day is the third weekend in June, a great time to catch a game. Order tickets early, get great seats, and consider a special surprise – like an autographed ball, a picture with the mascot, or a message on the score board.
  2. Hang with the Grandkids – Few things can make a Grandfather feel like part of the family like Grandkids who want to be with him. If you need to bridge the generational gap, try the Wii – let Granddad get some ‘street cred’ by trouncing the kids at bowling.
  3. Skype Reunion – You might remember me recommending Skype as a great free software gift for Dad. Here’s a chance to take it a step further, coordinate with your Dad’s old buddies to arrange for a great big Skype reunion. Hopefully this will open the door for regular video chats.
  4. Quickest Way to a Man’s Heart – Get Dad his favorite meal, take him out if you can or take it to him if you can’t. If he drinks, remember to double check his medication before buying him a beer. He might want to contribute, if he does a good compromise is to remind him that dinner is your treat but ask him to get the tip.
  5. Favorite Shared Pastime – Chances are that your Dad gave you a love of one of his pastimes. Consider taking your Dad out for a few hours of your favorite shared pastime; fishing, golfing, crafting, gardening, etc. Tell him how meaningful sharing this pastime has been to you over the years.
  6. Movie Marathon – Is your Dad a huge fan of John Wayne, Bob Hope, Katharine Hepburn, Groucho Marx, or other vintage film stars? Consider a three movie marathon of his favorites with lots of snacks. Get the whole family involved if you can without drama, this is about enjoying his favorites together as a family not giving him lonely reign over the entertainment system for a few hours.
  7. Daddy’s Little Girl – You may be a influential professional or a successful parent yourself, but in many Dad’s eyes their daughter is always first and foremost their Little Girl. It can be hard to step back into that role but its a surefire way to make many Fathers feel like they still belong in the family. Let Dad feel like a provider; listen to his advice or let him treat you to a coffee, basically let him do something for you even though you don’t need him to.
  8. Classic Game Night – Break out the classic card and board games for a good time with Dad and the whole family. Play games he already knows the rules for; games like Monopoly, Hearts, Canasta, or Pokeno. Remember to play with Large Print Playing Cards if Dad is visually impaired.
  9. His Greatest Adventure – Did Dad live overseas, serve in the military, meet someone famous, or do something else that might qualify as an adventure? Remind him of it and get him to tell the story one more time, even if you’ve heard it hundreds of times already. Get the kids to hear it too if you can without too much drama.
  10. Cherished Memory Book – Get in touch with everyone whose life your Dad has touched; ask them each to send you a letter to him along with some photographs. Put them together into a scrapbook commemorating him and letting him know that he’s not forgotten. Not only will it make him feel special now, years from now it stands to become a treasured family heirloom holding memories that would otherwise be forgotten.

After a lifetime in the role, many Fathers feel insecure after they step out of the provider role for their families. Because of this it is important to avoid anything that might make Dad feel unwelcome. Chances are that you don’t see eye to eye with Dad on everything but, at least for Father’s Day, try to let remarks and points of contention slide. Be gracious and patient, focus on the good and avoid drama. Remember, your goal is to celebrate and honor Dad, not get drawn into old arguments.

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Letting Go

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To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring;
It means I can’t do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off….
It’s the realization that I can’t control another…..

To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try and change or blame another,
I can only change myself.

To let go is not to care for, but to care about.

To let go is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own outcomes.

To let go is not to be protective,
It is to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to deny, but to accept.

To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish the moment.

To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more.

~Anonymous

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Five Classic Male Singers

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Few things got my Grandmom hopping, like listening to Bing crooning away.  So a few years ago I got her a CD collection of his.  I feel fortunate that I had early exposure to ‘Classics’; many in my generation and even the generations before me have only a vague idea of what sort of music our elders listened to in their youth.

If you’re looking to buy some nostalgic music for an elderly loved one, here’s a list of ‘Greats’ that its hard to go wrong with!

Nat King Cole

Frank Sinatra

Bing Crosby

Jimmy Durante

Louis Armstrong

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Elegy for Rose

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She is a metal forged by love

too volatile, too fiery thin

so that her substance will be lost

as sudden lightning or as wind.

And yet the ghost of her remains

reflected with the metal gone,

a shadow as of shifting leaves

at moonrise or at early dawn.

A kind of rapture never quite

possessed again, however long

the heart lays siege upon a ghost

recaptured in a web of song.

~Tennessee Williams

 

Originally written by the author of A Streetcar Named Desire for his institutionalized sister, I feel that these poignant words have strong resonance for those of us who have family members afflicted by dementia. It captures the heartbreak of a loved one so close and yet so far.

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Our Collection of Father Quotes

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How pleasant it is for a father to sit at his child’s board. It is like an aged man reclining under the shadow of an oak which he has planted.
Voltaire

I’ve had a hard life, but my hardships are nothing against the hardships that my father went through in order to get me to where I started.
Bartrand Hubbard

My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.
Clarence Budington Kelland

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain

I talk and talk and talk, and I haven’t taught people in 50 years what my father taught by example in one week.
Mario Cuomo

My father, when he went, made my childhood a gift of a half a century.
Antonio Porchia

Nothing I’ve ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.
Bill Cosby

It was times like these when I thought my father, who hated guns and had never been to any wars, was the bravest man who ever lived.
Harper Lee

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.
Charles Wadsworth

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.
Jim Valvano

By profession, I am a soldier and take pride in that fact. But I am prouder – infinitely prouder – to be a father. A soldier destroys in order to build; the father only builds, never destroys. The one has the potentiality of death; the other embodies creation and life. And while the hordes of death are mighty, the battalions of life are mightier still. It is my hope that my son, when I am gone, will remember me not from the battle field but in the home repeating with him our simple daily prayer, ‘Our Father who art in Heaven.’
Douglas Macarthur

The words that a father speaks to his children in the privacy of home are not heard by the world, but, as in whispering-galleries, they are clearly heard at the end and by posterity.
Jean Paul Richter

Being a father, being a friend, those are the things that make me feel successful.
William Hurt

I learned from the example of my father that the manner in which one endures what must be endured is more important than the thing that must be endured.
Dean Acheson

My father died many years ago, and yet when something special happens to me, I talk to him secretly not really knowing whether he hears, but it makes me feel better to half believe it.
Natasha Josefowitz

It is much easier to become a father than to be one.
Kent Nerburn

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, “You’re tearing up the grass.”  “We’re not raising grass,” Dad would reply.  “We’re raising boys.”
Harmon Killebrew

I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father’s equal, and I never loved any other man as much.
Hedy Lamarr

You know, fathers just have a way of putting everything together.
Erika Cosby

One night a father overheard his son pray: Dear God, Make me the kind of man my Daddy is. Later that night, the Father prayed, Dear God, Make me the kind of man my son wants me to be.
Anonymous

A truly rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty.
Unknown

Can you relate to any of our quotations? Do you have a quote that you’d like us to add to our collection? Please, let us know!

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The Spirit of ’45 ~ Kissing the War Away

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The generation that lived through the storm of World War II has been called the Greatest Generation. This Memorial Day that generation is close to fading into history, the coming years will hold our last chances to hear them in the flesh.

Keep the Spirit of ’45 Alive! is a non-profit organization collecting stories from that generation and encouraging later generations to listen to those who lived through history while they still can. The story of Edith Shain is part of their collection.

I’m a nurse working at Doctors’ Hospital in Manhattan. The radio in my patient’s room is playing “Don’t Sit Under the Apple Tree”. My patient is taking the medication I handed to him.

The music is interrupted with an announcement that Japan has surrendered and the war is over…

I’m stunned, incredulous, and joyful. Fifteen minutes later, after removing my cap, I’m running to the subway. I get on the train to Times Square.

When I get there, I run up the steps and to the street, walk a short distance.

I’m surrounded by jubilation. Soldiers, sailors, old and young civilians. I celebrate with them.

A sailor puts his arm around me, bends me back, holds me, and gives me a long kiss. I close my eyes. When he releases me, I turn in the opposite direction and walk away.

 

The sailor is a symbol of all who fought in the horrific savagery of the war who shared courage, responsibility, and commitment.

We at home were with you.

Now, we are all together; the combination of all of our efforts.

Now, the empty spaces will be filled.

Now, the broken pieces will be put together.

Now, relationships will be repaired.

Now, we have peace.

This Memorial Day ask someone who lived through World War II to share their story.

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